Human Hoover

I can throw back some food like no one you know. This is a fact. The irony hasn’t escaped me that I love to eat yet hate to cook.  It’s an anomaly I’ll never understand. My love of cheese is rivaled only by my love of wine.  And that would be the ultimate Sophie’s Choice … More Human Hoover

Incognito

I was already tired and annoyed when the man sitting across from me on the train decided that belting out a song and dancing in his seat was a good idea in a public space.  It escalated to anger when we were at capacity, all of us commuters shoulder to shoulder and miserably gasping for … More Incognito

Vulcan Me Back

My hand was pressed up against the glass window of the restaurant in a Vulcan salute as I tried to make eye contact with two men who were passing by with my best puppy dog sad eyes when the thought occurred to me that I might actually be more competitive than I initially thought. I … More Vulcan Me Back

Johnny Jabber

The overwhelming desire to throw a cookie in someone’s face was a new one for me, but I was quickly able to talk myself down as I needed a roof over my head for the night, and I knew full well I was acting exactly like some kind of entitled asshole. I had arrived in … More Johnny Jabber

SantaCon v. 3.0

It’s official:  SantaCon remains my favorite Seattle spectator sport three years running.  My first SantaCon set the bar relatively high for the rest of them, losing a member of our party at only our second stop and waking up with a fireball tattoo on my wrist and a Virgin Mary candle in my purse. This … More SantaCon v. 3.0

Resting Grinch Face

On occasion something happens that really forces me to take a step back and evaluate where I’m at in life.  I had one of those moments last week–a “come to Jesus” moment if you will. Nothing makes me genuinely have to reassess my life choices like having to do laundry for the sole purpose of … More Resting Grinch Face

The Bus Disease

It was a cold and rainy Seattle morning, and I had just finished texting a friend of mine a story about my inherent uncoolness.  I put my phone away and stepped on the bus.  It turned the corner as I was walking down the middle of the aisle looking for an open seat.  And in … More The Bus Disease

Mixed Signals

I was walking in my neighborhood, running some errands as I routinely do every weekend, when I heard some asshole of a child yell, “AAAHHHHH!  It’s so scary!” and whipped around to see him pointing my direction. I opened my mouth, ready to verbally berate him for being a little shit and for referring to […]

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