When my friend, Scot, broke the news to me that he was leaving Seattle and moving to Oregon, I decided then and there that he was dead to me. How could he up and leave when he makes up about 25% of my Seattle social circle? Ok, maybe that’s not true anymore, but he was … More Stoned for Jesus
Spoiler alert: I don’t make New Years resolutions, and this isn’t the story of how I started this year with a life changing step forward. I personally think people should stick to their guns rather than be chameleons or focusing on half-assed resolutions that, statistically speaking, they likely won’t end up keeping anyhow. I figure … More Holiday Hijinks
If there’s one rule I abide by in life, it is don’t trust a man with a mullet. Maybe that’s shallow, yes, but it hasn’t led me astray thus far. Needless to say, after a long day of work, no sleep, and no food, when he sat down next to me in his over-sized, full-body … More The Goldfish Massacre of 2015
I woke up yesterday morning with a fireball tattoo on my wrist and red fuzz all over my pillow. I spent the next 30 minutes in a groggy stupor, picking the red chunks out of my hair scrubbing the temporary tattoo off of my body, glad I had opted for the wrist placement versus the … More Stalking Santa
If I had to rate my dancing ability it would fall somewhere between atrocious and nonexistent. It is no secret to those who know me well, that not only am I cringe-worthy on the dance floor, but I typically avoid it at all costs. It takes a lot of liquid courage to get me out … More Dancing With Myself
There’s something in the air during the holidays. I can’t explain it, but it’s a palpable difference in the atmosphere that is almost magical. People seem kinder, there’s the cool crispness in the weather, and everything feels different somehow. A week ago, I heard the Wham! version of “Last Christmas” on the radio. I shamelessly … More Seattle Scrooge
Adjusting to a new workplace is never the easiest of feats. Being “the new person” usually involves investing a solid amount of effort in meeting your coworkers and awkward mingling around the office. Add living in Seattle to that mix, and it gets a little trickier. Add working in a cubicle in a seemingly abandon … More Pie Problems
A few days ago at work there was an mass office email circulating about how someone set a burrito on fire in the microwave, causing smoke to filter through the building and cause the whole floor to smell like charred Mexican food. My initial reaction was, “Oh shit, did I bring a burrito for lunch?” … More The Seattle Argument
It is not an exaggeration to say I’ve been listening to my Seattle-ite friends talk about Halloween plans for months now. As a holiday that I haven’t dressed up for in ages, I didn’t understand the fuss. All I knew was that people were planning costumes in August, so if I knew what was good … More Channeling my Inner De Vil
I recently was talking to a man, and the conversation went downhill quickly once he started talking about being raptured, as if it was a common conversational topic like talking about the weather. The problem with this is two-fold: firstly, it is nearly impossible to sidestep that comment because I was so dumbfounded by it, … More Chatty Carly
Transient Transplant 