I’ve been running on fumes this month and finally had a weekend off last week. For me this easily translates into spending at least one day being a lazy bum, sleeping for 12 hours and then watching movies and reading all day. I should be catching up with people, but I needed a day for some much needed me time to recharge.
All of this travel makes me appreciate the relaxation time, but I’m always quickly reminded I’m back in Seattle as soon as I return, which helps me keep the perspective of why I long for those weekends away.
I have flights on the books at least once a month for the rest of the year, and that brings me a weird sense of peace. I hate the thought of getting stuck, and it helps me to feel like I’m not suffocating here. So whether it’s work or vacation, sign me up. I’m at my happiest and at my best when I’m on the move.
I chose to venture out last Saturday fighting the strong pull of my brain blatantly refusing to put on pants and makeup because of how difficult that seemed. I knew it was the right thing to do (I have someone I knew from my time in the Czech Republic recently move to Kirkland, Washington who I haven’t seen since she has lived here, so now that I actually had a few days, I decided it was time to be a good human and cross paths with her).
As I was on the bus, a man sat down a few seats ahead of me who was talking to himself. Obviously this is not unheard of in Seattle, but some woman glared at him as she walked down the aisle grabbing a seat behind me instead of next to him.
He turned around and stared at her, saying, “I’m pure peace and love. That’s where I come from. I know you think I’m crazy, but my message is one of peace and love. That’s what I’m about.”
I thought to myself, how sweet, and oddly refreshing.
Until he said, “Don’t fuck with my pure peace and love, or I’ll kick your ass.”
“Welcome back,” I thought to myself. I knew it was all too good to be true.
I got back to my apartment and my neighbor was walking out the door, so being a decent human I said, “Hi,” and he actually turned the other direction and walked away.
I wasn’t too concerned, as I’ve grown to expect this level or rudeness or social ineptitude, whichever category it falls into varies on a case by case basis.
I also wasn’t concerned as this was the neighbor that I was confident I heard murdering someone through my walls a month back. He came out of the door wearing scrubs, so now my theory of murder and his ability to get rid of a body efficiently is completely legit. So not speaking worked out for me. I need to stay between the lines of making a conscious effort to reach out, but not appearing to be too friendly. That way I don’t get murdered after I fall into the category of people he knows intimately, and I don’t get murdered for being a bitch (easily the more likely of the two outcomes).
I find it weirdly comforting to be in the walls of my apartment with my windows open, listening to the noises of city and the chatter in the courtyard. Too much quiet bothers me, and my apartment has the right level of white noise.
To cap off my recharge weekend, I was chilling out reading a book when I heard the theme song from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman come wafting through the window. Nostalgia from my childhood watching this show came rushing back, as I was shocked I even remembered the song.
I sprung to life, thinking, “These are the people I need to find and befriend in this apartment building.” I wondered if I could lean out my balcony door and figure out where it was coming from, but then figured with my luck they were just some weirdos listening to the soundtrack or something ridiculous like that.
Also my tongue was purple after downing my 3rd pomegranate popsicle to try and stay cool in the apartment, so I wasn’t exactly in the right place to be making friends. I also quickly realized I don’t have enough time for my actual friends, so going out of my way to make new ones seemed unfair to them.
I was mainly motivated by the need to prove that people can be friendly. You can get to know your neighbors here. We aren’t all antisocial. I work 75 hours a week some weeks and still make time for people, so surely they could suck it up and say hello in the 1 second that it takes.
I have memories from when I was in New York last year of how the noise outside was weirdly comforting and the chattiness of everyone was so refreshing. The more time I spend in Seattle, I become unphased by the antisocial aspect.
I enjoy living by both the mountains and the sea, but my heart keeps whispering not to get too attached because soon it will be time to move on to other places and things, and at the moment it’s simply a place to rest my head and relax until the next adventure commences.